I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
