Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
