U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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