I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
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