I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
