I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
