Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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