Don't make out with my wife yet
I feel like abortions should bother me more
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
