so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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