the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
