with your own penis?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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