But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
