i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
