She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
