office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
