So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
high people should be assigned attendants
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
