Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
