I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
