Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
