Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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