I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
