But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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