Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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