Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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