Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
