she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
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