we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
