I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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