That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
