we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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