i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
