so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
