Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
