Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
