You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
