Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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