Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
