Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
