Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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