I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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