I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
