Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
