Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Text me some of your sweat
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
