How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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