Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
