If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
