there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
