Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
