When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
