I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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