Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
