once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
