I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
