I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's never too late to be topless.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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