Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
