Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
