That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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