Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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