Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
