I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
