I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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