he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
